Heart Renovations
This school year, God has been teaching me what it means to walk in the spirit, to take off the old and put on the new, to be holy as He is holy.
It's a hard, life-long lesson and the more He teaches me, the more I have come to realize how short I fall from the Glory of God. It's humbling and it's painful, but it's needful, and refreshing. Conviction is not fun. When sin is revealed it exposes just how ugly I am apart from Jesus. My pride hates it, but my spirit feasts on it! So many times I try to hide and cover up my sin. Those selfish thoughts, hateful attitudes, impure intentions, greed, pride, etc... I remember on the Road to One Day cd that we were given to listen to while driving to One Day '03, there was a part where you were supposed to turn off the cd and confess sins to those you were with. "Expose my sin," I thought, "oh no, what will they think?" I think someone even said, "I dont like this part." But it was releasing to share and enlist the prayers of others.
All of it has brought me to a point (that doesnt stop here) of desiring that transformation more and more. I long to be RENOVATED. I am sick of my sin. It doesn't taste good. I want to taste the sweet savor of the holiness of God. I know that I will not be totally rid of the filth until I am with my Lord in eternity, so that creates a longing for me to be with Him. What a sweet day that will be. I dont know why I'm writing about all of this. I'm kind of rambling, but these are some thoughts I've had this week. Here's a song I was playing this morning that expresses my heart in all of this.

Welcome Home
Shaun Groves
Invitation to Eavesdrop

Take, me, make me
All You want me to be
That's all I'm asking, all I'm asking

Welcome to this heart of mine
I've buried under prideful vines
Grown to hide the mess I've made
Inside of me
Come decorate, Lord

Open up the creaking door
And walk upon the dusty floor
Scrape away the guilty stains
Until no sin or shame remain

Spread Your love upon the walls
And occupy the empty halls
Until the man I am has faded
No more doors are barricaded

Come inside this heart of mine
It's not my own
Make it home
Come and take this heart and make it
All Your own
Welcome home

Take a seat, pull up a chair
Forgive me for the disrepair
And the souvenirs from floor to ceiling
Gathered on my search for meaning

Every closet's filled with clutter
Messes yet to be discovered
I'm overwhelmed, I understand
I can't make this place all that You can

I took the space that You placed in me
Redecorated in shades of greed
And I made sure every door stayed locked
Every window blocked, and still You knocked

Colossians 3