The Carousel

Does it ever seem that no matter how hard and how loud you cry out to God for him to change you and purify you from a particular sin, it is to no avail. Why must I give in day after day after day, or even once a week? a year? Is it because i don't respect and love God for who he is? Is it because my love for myself is greater than any other love I have? God forbid, that to be true! Cleanse me from my wickedness, O Lord! I know that it offends you! Let not Satan's accusations be proven true! I am Your new creation. Cause me to walk in that new light, God! Purge me of my pride and selfishness. Purge me of any self-righteous thoughts or judgemental spirits.

Psalm 109:21-25
But you, O Sovereign LORD, deal well with me for your name's sake; out of the goodness of your love, deliver me. For I am poor and needy, and my heart is wounded within me. I fade away like an evening shadow; I am shaken off like a locust. My knees give way from fasting. my body is thin and gaunt. I am an object of scorn to my accusers; when they see me, they shake their heads.

From Carousel
by Sean Watkins

One more time around
I can't stop this carousel
I've tried so hard
To no avail
I've tried each horse on here
Still no new scenery
I'm dizzy,
my stomach's sick,
I'm tired
This I know
Horses gold
Won't take me home

About this song he says: "Some of us have cycles going on in our lives that don't really help us. You keep going around, wondering why you're not getting anywhere. You keep seeing things go by, but nothing ever changes. Whether it's a bad habit, a relationship, or whatever."